Hormones or Feelings?

Lately I cant tell if it has been hormones or feelings when I get sad, but I am pretty sure this time it is feelings. This is going to be a "vague" post with no names or any specifics but I just need to get this out. What I am going through is a mind-blowing  horrible thing I am going through! I never thought this would ever happen to me. I dont think I am strong enough to handle all of these emotions. Reality hit me in the gut heart today and all I can think about is that! I feel like I cant breathe or work because it has consumed my whole mind. I am being SUCH a girl, because if this happened to a guy they wouldnt think twice about it! Sometimes I wish I was a boy so I could just not care about anything. Here is a video I think is a great thing Beyonce did, its so true!



October!

Where does the time go? I have been waiting for this month because then I will be 3 months along in 2 weeks! Woo Hoo! Hopefully that means my morning sickness will be forever gone. Its been a rough almost 3 months but I wouldn't change it for the world. A lot has changed in these 3 months but I feel like I am finding myself again, and truly learning how to depend on myself and only myself. The father of my child did leave me but is going to be there for the child. It hurt at first because how could he be there for the child but not me? I have now come to copes with it and I am just relieved he is going to be there for his child. Lets just hope he sticks to his word this time.

I used to have so many questions and what if's for the father of my child. Now that I am doing this pregnancy by myself, I am no longer caring about my needs or wants. It is all about my child, and if I am making all the right decisions for her/his future. So far I believe that I am. Has much as I want to not speak to the "sperm donor" haha he has a right to be in her/his life and I want my child to have a father. I just really hope he is the type of father his children can rely on and trust.

I already have my bassinet and pack and play! A girl at work is giving me another pack and play, 3 tubs of baby clothes and more baby stuff. I am so blessed to have people in my life that are willing to help me out so much. And I already have 2 of my friends planning baby showers for me haha I am going to be overloaded with things for this baby. :)

Well it is Saturday and there is a baby convention going on in Austin so I think I might go to that. Or go take a hike near  the lake with my dog for some fresh air and exercise.

Hope you all have a wonderful and great Saturday!