Jan 31, 2011

when is it good enough

Sometimes I feel like whatever I do is never good enough. I somehow disappoint someone in my life and that is a really hard for me to deal with. I am a people pleaser and I want to make everyone happy including myself. But for some reason when I am making myself happy, I am letting someone else down or at least thats how it makes me feel.

I understand when you are in a relationship you have to worry about someone else's needs, wants, desires, and feelings. And for successful relationships/marriages there needs to be communication on both sides and it needs to be open freely. But what happens when the other person's needs are not being met but not because you do not want to fulfill them just because you physically, and emotionally cant in the state you are in? What are you supposed to do then? How do you make them understand?

I have had a failed marriage and I am so scared all my future relationship(s) are going to end that way. I know why my marriage died and could not be revived until you were blue in the face. I went to counseling to figure some things out and it was such a great learning tool. But now I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I do not know how the other person feels in my situation because every time  I try to talk about it, it does not go over too well. I usually just get the cold shoulder, or no responses at all. Which makes myself even more frustrated and makes me want to not communicate at all.

All I can say is I have been really trying and really hoping for a breakthrough. Really hoping that the other person will talk to me, and feel comfortable talking to me. I just cross my fingers and pray every night that it will not end up like my marriage.

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