May 9, 2008

so close i can taste it

travis is almost home and i can already feel his arms wrapped around my waist, his warm embrace on my body, his breath on my neck from hugging me so tight he snuggles his face in my shoulder. it is a waiting game for when he will be home, and i hate the fact i barely talk to him anymore. i know its good because he is so close but it sucks because thats what i have lived on for the last 7 months was his voice and his IM's. now all of sudden there yanked away like a baby and there sucking thumb! all you want to do is break down and cry till you have that back. i am depended on that boy more than he knows. he is my emotional support and my whole entire world, i know soon we might get sick of each other here and there but he will always be the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. i just dont want to do another deployment. i know i am strong enough to do one but i just DONT want to. they hurt..emotional roller coaster..sadness..weakness..happiness..homecomings. i might have to do two more and that feels like a lifetime for me. give and take there are some advantages but not when it puts my future hubby's life at risk. nothing is EVER worth that.

Man where was this journal during the deployment?!!? I could have used a place to express my deepest frustrations and sadness!

On a happier note... 1 1/2 months till i am Mrs. Travis Koehler!

9 more days till hes home.... 7 more days till i leave to NC to see him!

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