May 15, 2008

my parents are my anti-drug

why is it when you want to forgive someone you really care about they just turn around and lie to your face again. and you know they are lieing but you dont want to believe it because you want to think they are a good person deep down. that they care about other people than themselves. i am sick of living my life like i am fine that my parents are the greatest and have always been there for me. because they havent, they only care about there selves and what is surrounded around them at the time. they will stab you in the back and throw you under the bus if they get the chance. there more like bad friends you dont want around but still come around. they just dont know how to be parents and they should have never had kids in the first place.

it breaks my heart to see my parents treat me and my siblings the way that they do. they cant see that we still have past resentment that they never apologized for! they dont want to believe that we are still upset for ruining our childhood and putting us in positions that we were way too young to handle! i dont want sympathy thats not why im writing this but writing makes me feel better! what i cant tell someone in person i write because i can express it better!

i just wish my parents would wake to the real world and stop blaming us for there problems and start realizing they have less time with us to make it right. Yea i have let go of the past along time ago but they still know how to fuck everything up when its the future too! its like i get over being mad at them for my childhood but then they go and do somethings recent and i just want to scream at them because they just cant see it! they only care about there fuckin self and i am soo sick of pretending i care about them and being respectful to there faces when all i want to do is yell at them and ask them WTF are they thinking and doing!!!!!!!

ugggghhhh!! they will never understand. they will always think men come before there kids && drugs come before there kids! its a sad world but its reality and im so glad i never followed in there footsteps! i am a stronger better person for the bullshit they put me through!

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