Jun 29, 2010

Just Thinking....

I always wonder if anyone reads my blog but I guess people do because they talk to me about it. I always write how I am feeling on here and what I am doing or planning on doing with my life. Right now I feel kind of stuck. I just got a 9-5 job which I am actually enjoying but the pay hasnt kicked in yet so I am strugglng for money right now. I am thinking about getting a second job at night to just ease the transition and make extra money but I dont know if I want to work two jobs. I still want to go back to school but I have no idea what I want to do. I would love to do massage therapy and esthecian but is that a long term career? Then I like working in an office and I like working in Law Firms or Tax offices but can I see myself happy doing this for the rest of my life? I just always ask myself these questions and I can never answer them. Then I have this real passion for photography but with my work and trying to figure everything out I havent had much time for my photography. Plus I havent had anyone really take interest in wanting to do photos or anything like that even when its free. I must be taking the wrong approach to it. I wish I could do some freelance photography work but I wouldnt even know where to look for work like that or who to talk to.

There is this woman I follow her blog and I follow her on youtube and she is amazing! She is a make-up artist and she has accomplished so much in her lifetime and is still doing a lot more! She really inspries me to do what I love and everything but I am so scared that if I try and fail, I will fail at everything in my life. I know thats NOT true and I have a lot going for myself but this woman is just amazing. She is an amazing make-up artist, she travels around the world doing make-up for Hollywood, and she is most importantly doing what SHE LOVES to do for a living. I really wish when I am her age I am doing what I truly have a passion for and truly love! http://kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com/

Well maybe once I get back up on my feet and start having an income again then I can truly start with my photography because there is no way I am going to spend 600$ on my camera and not use it for the right reasons! There is just soo much I want to do but I feel stuck because my cash flow is on hold. And even after I do get paid I have to play catch up with so many bills, I just sometimes want to break down and cry but I know that is not going to get me anywhere. So I just tough it out, do one day at a time and know God has it in his hands and wont let anything happen to me.

I kind of wish I had someone sitting there and saying, "you can do this, you can do anything you put your heart and mind too" everyday or every other day because maybe thats what I need is someone else motivating me and telling me I am doing a good job. (but then again I might hate it because it would make me feel 5 again lol. I want to know how people like Kandee get to the places that are at right now. How do they keep advancing there careers? I think I need a new name for my photography comapny, I really dont like Making Memories Photography. I guess in time everything will fall into place like it is supposed too.

Remember to always keep your head up, even if you want to give up!


Damien said...

With regards to photography just keep reading. Read about techniques, the business, post production, look at tutorials, etc.

Start with something like this: http://tinyurl.com/28xvnnl

Miss Nikki said...

Thanks Damien! I really like your comments. It means a lot to me :)