Jun 29, 2010

Just Thinking....

I always wonder if anyone reads my blog but I guess people do because they talk to me about it. I always write how I am feeling on here and what I am doing or planning on doing with my life. Right now I feel kind of stuck. I just got a 9-5 job which I am actually enjoying but the pay hasnt kicked in yet so I am strugglng for money right now. I am thinking about getting a second job at night to just ease the transition and make extra money but I dont know if I want to work two jobs. I still want to go back to school but I have no idea what I want to do. I would love to do massage therapy and esthecian but is that a long term career? Then I like working in an office and I like working in Law Firms or Tax offices but can I see myself happy doing this for the rest of my life? I just always ask myself these questions and I can never answer them. Then I have this real passion for photography but with my work and trying to figure everything out I havent had much time for my photography. Plus I havent had anyone really take interest in wanting to do photos or anything like that even when its free. I must be taking the wrong approach to it. I wish I could do some freelance photography work but I wouldnt even know where to look for work like that or who to talk to.

There is this woman I follow her blog and I follow her on youtube and she is amazing! She is a make-up artist and she has accomplished so much in her lifetime and is still doing a lot more! She really inspries me to do what I love and everything but I am so scared that if I try and fail, I will fail at everything in my life. I know thats NOT true and I have a lot going for myself but this woman is just amazing. She is an amazing make-up artist, she travels around the world doing make-up for Hollywood, and she is most importantly doing what SHE LOVES to do for a living. I really wish when I am her age I am doing what I truly have a passion for and truly love! http://kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com/

Well maybe once I get back up on my feet and start having an income again then I can truly start with my photography because there is no way I am going to spend 600$ on my camera and not use it for the right reasons! There is just soo much I want to do but I feel stuck because my cash flow is on hold. And even after I do get paid I have to play catch up with so many bills, I just sometimes want to break down and cry but I know that is not going to get me anywhere. So I just tough it out, do one day at a time and know God has it in his hands and wont let anything happen to me.

I kind of wish I had someone sitting there and saying, "you can do this, you can do anything you put your heart and mind too" everyday or every other day because maybe thats what I need is someone else motivating me and telling me I am doing a good job. (but then again I might hate it because it would make me feel 5 again lol. I want to know how people like Kandee get to the places that are at right now. How do they keep advancing there careers? I think I need a new name for my photography comapny, I really dont like Making Memories Photography. I guess in time everything will fall into place like it is supposed too.

Remember to always keep your head up, even if you want to give up!
<3nms

2 comments:

Damien said...

With regards to photography just keep reading. Read about techniques, the business, post production, look at tutorials, etc.

Start with something like this: http://tinyurl.com/28xvnnl

Miss Nikki said...

Thanks Damien! I really like your comments. It means a lot to me :)