So this was going to be me expressing how I felt yesterday when something really bad was happening to me. I had people willing to help me but it still was not enough. And then I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel but the light went away and it hurt me really bad. I thought it was a turning point in mine and this person's relationship but I was mistakenly wrong. And I have done this to myself before.
In the end I called my Dad and he is going to help me. My Dad has screwed up in my life and has let me down time after time but in these past few years he has been there and been my rock. I really do not know where I would be if it wasn't for my father. He is turning into the father I have always wanted and needed. Daddy if you read this, thank you for everything you have done. You are my world and I will always be your little girl :)
Now I am on a mission to get a second job. I never want to feel how I was feeling last night because of lack of money. It is not worth it and I never want to go through this again. I literally felt like I was drowning and no one could save me. But then I called my dad not expecting him to be able to help me and BAM he was! I am so thankful I don't even know how to express it. I am going to pay my dad back one day. I am so thankful to have a parent that cares and is willing to do anything to help me. I love him even more for that! :)
So now I officially feel like an adult because there is no more going back to home when I fail. I have to figure it out and move forward. There is no safety net anymore. It is all me, and when I get into a bind I can not get out of I know I have my Dad and others to turn to. I really don't know if I want to have a relationship with the person that I mentioned above because the way they handled the situation. It really hurt and it is not the first time they have done this to me. I guess I will just live my life and not worry about that drama, it's not worth it.