Oct 14, 2008

can i do it?

so travis is doing all the training for Afghan and I just dont know if I am strong enough for this deployment! last deployment I barely worried because he called me ALL the time and i knew he was okay but now I am stressing and I just dont know. Afghan is worse then Iraq ever was and supposdly they know what they are doing when it comes to the bombs... And since travis is infantry (front man on the line) it makes me even more worried. I dont want to be a widow at such a young age. I dont want to attend my husbands funeral, i wont be able to hold myself together. I know I am looking far into the future with this but I am scared shitless! There has been times where I thought I was scared but this might be the first moment in my life where I wont know what to do with myself if anything happens to him. Hes my rock my world and supports me on my decisions! I cant lose that hes the first male in my life that truly loves me and wont leave me for drugs! I only have 5 more months with him and he is in virginia for 2 weeks starting today then goes to California for a month of traning so I techincally only have 4 months with him =/ I really hope and pray to God he keeps him safe and returns home to me.

I just cant take the tears and the fear anymore. I cant wait til Novemeber 28, 2010!


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