Jan 11, 2009


I just dont know what to think about anyting anymore. My husband is deploying to Afghanastain and my brother is in trouble with the law again. I am devestated about both and I am just at my limit where I cant handle the tears and stress. I know I shouldnt be freaking out about my husband until the time is here but it is so hard. I just break down at anytime of the day and he isnt even gone yet. Then my brother calls me for me to bail him out of jail, but I cant afford it and I wish I could but I just cant. He wont ever learn his lesson but I dont think he will learn by being there either. Jail is a horrible place and it breaks my heart to even imagine my brother there. It really kills me but I cant bail him out all the time especially with this, he is taking his family like granted just like our father. Its really sad that my brother is going down the same road as my dad. It kills my whole family to see him this way, he is so much better then this.

When will this whirlwind of emotions end?? I am a very strong person but strong people break down and I am about to loose it. With everything from my husband leaving and the worry of never seeing him again to my brother and my family. I am homesick and wish I could be there with them it would make this time so much easier for me. But this is life and I always cant have it my way.


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