Mar 27, 2009


so i went home to visit and it was such a great visit! i got to see my bff my family and it was just a great over all trip. Well i also did something thinking because it was well over due and i juswt felt like i have had a blind fold over my eyes. i am not saying anyone is a bad person but we do have some learning to do but it seems like i am the only one who wants to try. i am not saying i have major problems but i am not saying it is good either. i have dealt with it because i felt like it was normal but this is not normal. i just feel like it is my fault and majority of my life i have felt like it is my fault ( my dad and drugs) but i am done feeling like that. but anytime i try to say how if feel i am "overdramatic" and so most of the time i dont say anything because it is eaiser to just not fight about it then bring it up. but then when i say that then i get the response "then its probably not that important" then it makes me second guess my self and if any of you out there reading this know me i really dont second guess myself and i hate it! but it is a lose lose situation in my case. but if i just play stupid and let shit go then i have a wonderful life.... i just dont get it...

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