What happens now?

What happens now? What do I do after I have been trying to prove myself? We are both hurting but if we both dont try then it is never going to get better. All I want is my old life back before this deployment even happend. I want to rewind back to June 28,2008 and just start all over knowing what I know now so I can fix every wrong. People make mistakes but its what you do after it is what counts. But how do you tell the one you love to give your relationship another try? We are young and dont understand how to deal with everyone but we need to learn and we need to learn together. I have never been so nervous/scared in my life about anything. How am I going to know where he stands or where we stand before he is here? How am I going to get through this or how are we going to get through this together? What if there is no "we" anymore because we both put it down the drain?! I am just nervous for the unknown and it is so hard not knowing. I am putting all my faith into God and he will never steer me wrong. Even though it si going to hurt and be hard I know God will not have something happen without opening another door.

Only time will tell with everything

<3NMK