May 27, 2010

Right Decisions........

I feel so lost right now. I feel like my life isn't going anywhere and I am just in a rut. I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life, I don't know what state I want to live in, and I feel like I am just doing the same crap over and over again. One minute I want to move back home to California, but I feel like the only reason I want to move back is to get my "old life" back which isn't there anymore. I really do enjoy Texas and I am starting to meet new people, have friends, make a life out here now. I just spent a week in California and I miss it beyond belief, but I know I would miss Texas too. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to live but now I am just confused and wishing there was someone telling me what to do.

There are so many careers I want to pursue but I just cant pick one and settle on that one. One day I want to be a teacher, then the next day I want to be a photography, and then the next I want to be a writer. Ugh why cant I just find ONE thing I am truly passionate about and stick with it. I like all the above I just said and in a different way with each I have a passion for it. I am going back to school, so I think I will just get my associates out of the way and then figure out from there. Because if I keep putting off school then I am just furthering myself away from my career whatever it may be. Maybe I can be all 3 of those things one day.

I've decided to stay put in Texas until I figure things out, but I feel like I am the only 23 year old I know who doesn't know where there life is going. Everyone else is either married, in nursing school, graduating college or chefs. I feel like I am not going in circles with my life and I am going nowhere. People who are older then me said they felt the same way when they were 23 but now they have careers and couldn't be happier but I don't feel like it is going to pan out like that for me for some reason. Well I guess only time will tell what God has in store for me.

It's way past my bedtime, goodnight<3


No comments: