back labor

Lets see I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain!

Seriously the kind of pain where you just want to rip your skin off.

I have been having back labor for a week now but this tops it off!

It starts in my ribs and goes down to my tailbone. It feels like someone is ripping my back open with a knife.

I dont know what to do to ease it either.

I am still having the pain but right now it is just a dull ache.

But when it gets to the point where I cant tolerate it, I just dont know what to do anymore.

I have my weekly check up tomorrow so I shall talk to my midwife about it.

Anywho yesterday was my brother's 21st birthday!

I can not believe he is finally 21. Where did the time go?

It started out rough but then ended smoothly. Got to hang out with family and have a great dinner.

We went to our favorite mexican restaurant, Don Jose's in Huntington.

Whenever you get my family together it, its usually a great time!

Well today I am 37 weeks, so I shall be posting a 37 week picture!

Right now I am off to move my car for street sweeping and google ways to help with back labor.

Happy Wednesday!

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Sorry I have been MIA for almost 2 weeks.

Things have slow down here a lot and I quite honestly didnt enjoy blogging anymore.

I think I was going through a phase.

I have been feeling quite miserable lately.

I am in "early" labor, which means it could last all the way up to 40 weeks!

I get really bad back labor and it hurts :(

The baby and I are doing just fine! 

She is due in 3 weeks and it still hasnt hit me that I am going to be a mommy this month!!!

Everything is ready for her! I think I am nesting again because I want to re-do my whole room and clean everything!

Nothing seems to be in order the way I want it but secretly it is.

I think I lost some of my mucus plug too! I have heard about it and never thought it would happen to me.

But let me tell you, when you know you know! Its not  the prettiest sight to see. ;)

Here is what I have been up to!

1. Jay & I were remembering all of our childhood parks and stuff so we went to all of them! This here is Tewinkle park! It's so pretty :)

2. Jay at Tewinkle Park admiring the gorgeous landscaping

3. It has been beautiful here in Socal so I took advantage of the pool!

4. Me just lounging around the pool :)

5. I have been walking the dog like crazy. Hoping it helps once I am in labor and helps with my hip pains. 

6. I was craving funnel cake so I found a place at the Irvine Spectrum that caters to funnel cake! So no more having to wait for the fair or Disneyland lol

7. I woke up early one day and headed to the beach! Toes in the sand I love it!

8. I have been seeing dolphins like crazy at the beach lately. I love how relaxing the beach can be :)

Well thats all for now! Just getting ready for labor that can "technically" start any day now!

Crossing my fingers I wont have to be induced!

Hope you all had a great weekend! :)

nothing new here!

Here I am 9 months pregnant and nothing to do.

I haven't blogged all week and that is just crazy for me.

It's not like I dont have anything to say but this has been a boring week, and I haven't done much so what was the point?

Well I am officially off bed rest and I can do whatever I feel is comfortable.

So today I am going to do my yoga, walk the dog, possible nap and then walk some more.

I am trying to be in the best physical shape so I can handle labor. I hear it helps a lot.

Baby girl is still sitting high but not as high as she was.

I am trying to get her to drop a tad more because she is hitting this nerve and it hurts really bad to the point I feel like it is ripping my insides.

I talked to the dr's they did an ultrasound and nothing is ripping.

My friend Jessica had her baby March 14th, and now my friend Jamie just lost her mucus plug and is 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced and then there is me!

So I am so excited that is coming to an end and I finally get to meet her! :)

Well I hope you all have a great Thursday! :)

My beautiful baby!

preterm labor

Well it always seems like I have the adventures in my life.

Right when things seem to be going smoothly, BAM I get hit with something.

Baby and I are doing fantastic but yesterday I spent my whole day in Labor and Delivery.

In the hospital

It all started on Tuesday, I started to have menstrual like cramps.

Well I had these cramps before and back pain but they were never constant or stayed around for very long.

I also have had the same back pain for almost my whole pregnancy so it was hard to determine the difference if there was any at all.

Well then on Wednesday I still had the cramping, and the tightening of my stomach and back pain. But now it would start in my lower abdomen, move to my back then radiate to the rest of my stomach. I even had a pain on the right top of my stomach where it felt like it was tearing.

Wednesday night it got worse, I was miserable I couldnt sleep. I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me! I was so frustrated and I just wanted to sleep since I was exhausted.

So on Thursday I decided to text me good friend Jamie, who is 3 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy. Maybe she is having the same symptoms as me and I just chalked it up to Braxton Hicks because all the dr's and nurses said "YOU WILL KNOW WHEN YOU ARE IN LABOR" they were wrong!

Jamie sounded frantic on the phone and said you need to call your midwife right away. So I called and she told me to go into L & D right away! Two people frantic maybe its serious. So I started to get a tad worried.

I went to L & D and they hooked me up to monitors and I layed on my right side for a little while. No contractions were showing up. But I could still this pain and it was not fun anymore. They didnt hurt to the point where I couldnt stand them. But just annoying.

Finally they flipped me to my left side, moved the monitors to where I was saying I was having the pain and within 15 mins my wonderful nurse was back in kinda frantic tell me I was having contractions 7 mins apart!!!!

Since I am a newbie I had no clue when they were ending or starting. It really felt like a big long one. 

So She got the Doctor on the call's orders for an ultrasound to check my fluids, the shot to stop them since I am too early (34 weeks) and an IV of fluid.

The ultrasound came back normal and great! The shot made me cold and jittery and the IV was pumping fast through my body it made m even colder.

All then an hour passed and I was STILL having contractions so they gave me another shot. When I was discharged they were not fully gone but they were not constant like they were before. 

So I was at the hospital from 1030am-500pm. 

They were a tad busy with 5 women giving birth on top of it.

The contractions have finally subsided but they do come and go.

I am on bed rest until 36-37 weeks.

Today I have to go back for a non-stress test and another ultrasound to check my fluids again.

Oh and I never dilated and my cervix is still closed. Just soft or as they like to say it is "rippening" :)

Baby girl did wonderful through this whole ordeal!

Her heartbeat stayed a steady 150 and everything.

She wasnt as active as she has been but I think it was cause of the contractions.

Well I am off to take it easy before my appointment.

I dont want these contractions coming back full blown again.

Sorry just a long post! :)

Happy Friday Everyone!

thirty five

Here is another week down!

35 Weeks only 5 or less to go!

Been having menstural like cramps very often

Been exhausted to the point I have to take naps

Some nausea feeling too :(

Stomach tightening a lot more.

I hope she comes early or on time rather then late :)

35 weeks

beach day & thirty four weeks

Hello Ladies & Gents (if there are any Gents)! Today has been a fabulous Thursday! I woke up to the sun shining and the birds chirping. I decided I was going to take advantage of the heat we have been having in Southern California and headed to the beach! I dragged along my friend Jamie (who is 36 weeks pregnant) and we had a blast! We kept our summer dresses on but it was so beautiful. I love the beach and I love beach weather! I cant wait to take Reagan with me once she is here.

I love beach weather!

I also took my math final and got a 79% on it. I was stoked because Math is really my bad subject but it was surpisingly easier then I thought. I was a little bummed cause I was shooting for 116/150 at least, and I got 114/150. Just 2 points away would have landed me an overall "B" in the class. But hey you cant always get what you want haha. :)

It was bright out LOL

Yesterday was my bi-weekly doctor visit. I saw a different Midwife so I could familiarize myself with other ones just in case my midwife is unavailable the day I go into labor. She was really nice, let me ask tons of probably ridiculous questions and still answered them like I wasnt going to be a first time mom. It really felt good to be heard. Well the baby is measuring a week ahead! :) She is now 34 weeks instead of 33 weeks! Yay for skipping a week ahead. I know that doesnt necessarily mean I will go into labor a week early but hey cant a girl dream? They said since she has long legs it her probably being long thats why she is measuring a week ahead.

The funny thing though is the day before the appointment I had a pep talk with Reagan asking her please dont be late. I said "Mommy is never late and hates being late to things so I hope she gets those genes from me and isnt late also" And then the next day she is measuring a week ahead. I think she understood our pep talk! LOL

34 weeks! Before heading out to the beach. Still had bed hair LOL

Thank you ALL for all your kind words on my last post. I am doing a tad better but still feeling somewhat the same. I am trying to cope with things and how life is going to change (for the better) once she is here but I still cant help these thoughts creeping into my head. Hopefully it all goes away once I have her and everything. Thank you for the support it is really much appreciated :)

Well I am off to go spend time with my love. Yay for the weekend almost being here! Hope you all had a great  Thursday<3

emotional rollercoaster

I have just not been feeling myself lately. I am having contractions but they are just getting me ready for the real thing because they dont hurt just REALLY uncomfortable. I am beyond nervous to be a mom. I am getting anxiety on how to raise her, whats going to happen with her biological father and everything else attached to it. I feel like I am going about my life in all the wrong way.


I am newly divorced, going to have a baby out of wedlock, dating a great guy who is not the father, and the father of my child doesnt speak to me. How in the world did my life get this way?! I feel so dirty that I didnt do it the "right" way. The way I was raised to do it. I dont feel very Christian because of my actions and I feel like I am going straight to hell for it. I know thats not true and life happens but why to me? Why always me? Why cant it just go right for me, just once? 


It still breaks my heart that her father doesnt speak to me. I dont even know where he stands in her life. I have no idea if he wants any part of it. If so why isnt he speaking to me? I have less then  3-6 weeks left of this pregnancy. Does he not understand that? Should I be talking to him? Should I be making the effort since I did move states? Is it my obligation too? 


I am just really bad with change. Some days I miss my old life with my old friends and how it was. But I wouldnt change my life right now for anything. I just remember the good times and never the bad so thats why I am bad with change. My life is simply amazing right now and I wouldnt want to have back my ex husband and the life we had. I was miserable. 


There are just so many things running through my head and it makes me think about things. Am I going to be a good mother? Am I too young to be a mother? Can I be a mother, and full time student and work and keep my love life with this amazing man in my life? How do I find the balance? Ugh I am just an emotional wreck. And to top it off I am having body image problems with being pregnant and I really hope they dont stick around once I am back to my old body. I hope I dont look in the mirror and still see what I see now. Pregnancy is a lot harder then I had anticipated. But then again I have had some shitty times with it due to the fact of the biological father making me feel like I was worthless. 


Well I am running off to school and then dr's appt! :)


Hopefully I have a great day. Thanks for letting me vent. As tears now roll down my face. I am terrified. 


P.S. Welcome new followers! So glad to have you here! :) Hope you enjoy your stay and if you have any questions feel free to ask! 



With Love Nikki

Wordless{ish} Wednesday

32 Weeks

So here I am one more week down.
Is this dragging by for anyone else?
Haha I feel like this last few weeks are just never going to end.
Had a very interesting conversation today with a great friend.
Brought tears to  my eyes and makes me realize how lucky babygirl and I  truly are.
Nothing really new to update on the pregnancy except for I am ready to have her.
4 more weeks till full term(36 weeks) and 8 more weeks till(40 weeks)
I hope she isnt late, because I am never late so maybe I have instilled that in her lol.

Happy Wednesday all!!

Always smile and you will always be happy :)

hypercondriac & thirty one weeks

Green Tea :)

Hello there! So I was feeling under the weather last week just thinking it was a nasty cold.

Then this week with all the weather changes I felt horrible again so I figured it was allergies.

Well yesterday it got really bad. I started to throw up, and get hot & cold flashes.

So I called my midwife's office, she was already gone for the day so I had to go to after care.

Come to find out I had a sinus infection, UTI and kidney infection!

I am usually sooo in tune with my body but with being pregnant I am so not.

I always feel like I am making it up in my head so I dont go right away and then it gets 

worse and it really is something serious lol.

I am glad I went in when I did.

Baby and I are doing good. I had to get an antibiotic shot in my butt for the kidney infection.

It still hurts and it hurt to put any pressure on my butt lol

It was a very awkward visit.

My gross nightstand.. lol

I am going through kleenex like it is going out of style!

Damn my nose wont stop draining, its like a freakin waterfall.

And my poor nose is so raw from blowing it so much. :(

Baby News!

So I am officially 31 weeks along. (yesterday) 

I cant believe I only have 9 more weeks till 40 weeks and only 5 more weeks till full term!

It is officially starting to sink in and reality is really starting to hit.

I dont know if I should start packing my hospital bag or wait a few more weeks.

I was feeling better but as you can see from above I wasnt truly better though.

She is VERY active at all times. I feel like she never sleeps in there.

I love feeling her move but she is in my ribs and sometimes it really hurts.

I dont know if she has "dropped" yet or when she will start dropping.

She is head down and has a very strong heartbeat.

She is a big trooper in there which makes me so happy!

I cant wait to see her beautiful face :)

When I walk for more then 20 mins I start to get contractions.

And the contractions make me nauseas but then again maybe that was the sickness.

Told my midwife and she said she wants me walking but if I keep getting contractions

I cant walk anymore. :(

I am so ready to have this baby! EEKK I cant believe it is so close but yet so far away.

31 weeks

Hope you all have a great Thursday! :)

It is homework and midterm time for me.

thirty weeks

30 weeks

30 weeks - bare belly :)

It is so surreal that I only have 10 more weeks!

TECHNICALLY only 6 more weeks till full term...

Seriously I think I am officially beyond excited and nervous all at the same time!

She is so active now 24/7, I feel like she never sleeps anymore.

I am still so tiny for 30 weeks but my midwife says I am all baby.

So if she isn't worried, I am not worried.

I have a breastfeeding class Saturday and super excited for!

I still haven't had my nesting stage yet, but I think after my baby shower it will kick into high gear ;)

I promise next week I will return to my normal almost every day blog posts.

I am feeling a ton better! Thank you for the well wishes! :)

Peace, Love, Tattoos :)

Side view

Had a mini photo shoot haha :)

Goodnight Ya'll!!

twenty six

Another week down!

I cant believe I only have a few more weeks!

I cant wait to meet babygirl, shes my whole world.

Here is babygirl in her little home :)

Hope you all have a great Thursday!

Off to run errands :)

twenty five ♥

Here I am twenty five weeks along.

In fifteen short weeks I get to hold my beautiful baby!

It still seems so far away but I know its right around the corner.

I try talking to her as  much as possible but its weird to talk to my belly.

Found out she loves country music as much as I do :)

My tummy gets hard a lot which come to find out is braxton hicks contractions.

It happens after I eat, when I need to pee and when I stand for too long.

It hurts my ribs :( I feel like an elephant is sitting on them

Other then that baby and I are doing wonderfully!

One more 4 week appt. then I start going every 2 weeks!

I cant wait for that :)

Happy Wednesday ya'll!

Starting to feel like

the holidays finally! I cant believe how much time has flew this year.

And the fact that in about 2 days I will be twenty weeks pregnant.
and only eight more weeks till my third trimester!

I am secretly freaking out cause it is one step closer to delivery

and I am scared crapless to go into labor.

I am afraid of the un-known and this is a big unknown for me.

What runs through my head is; can I handle the pain? am I going to have to have an emergency c section?

am I going to be able to breastfeed like I want to? 

will I take the drugs once I am in labor?

will my bladder disease start to act up once in labor?

I am really scared but so ready to meet Reagan.

So here are some pictures of the house, all ready for the holidays.

Well minus the tree, that is coming this week, yay!!

Hope you all had a great weekend! 

New week, new adventures :)

Oh and I am finally getting enrolled in school for nursing! :)