School

So I started school two weeks ago and I am loving it.

I get out of the house for a few hours on M & W and actually see people my own age.

Talk about other things then babies and baby gear (which I love to talk about)

BUT I forgot about homework.. BLAH!

I am stoked to be in school and I am doing it to better my future but also for my daughter's future. I don't want to struggle like my parents did. I want to take care of my family.

I want to be able to do the things my parents couldn't.

I get off topic real fast... any who homework is the death of me!

I forgot how many hours you have to spend on it.

I just spent 5 hours last night on JUST math! I was shocked and my brain was totally fried.

Good thing though I just passed my three quizzes with flying colors :)

So I guess it pays off LOL

Now I have English homework to work on and this is a tad more difficult for myself.

Not English in general just the topic.

I have to to write a narrative essay about an experience where I felt empowered.

It can be a positive or negative experience and for some reason the only thing my brain can think about is when the sperm donor left me when we found out I was pregnant.

How I was empowered to do the right thing for my child and go back to school to better my life for her.

But it just seems like such a very personal matter, I just don't know if I want my WHOLE class or a few classmates knowing my struggle.

Then again I think it is a great way for me to really get all my thoughts and feelings into that paper. 

I have to start my brain-storming on it today so we shall see what I end up with.

My rough draft is due Monday so I guess I better make up my mind now.

Well I am off to do English homework, dr's appointment, then more homework with my friend Stacey!

Hope you all have a great Tuesday!

P.S. I was thinking about getting together with whoever is in Southern California and maybe do a lunch. Would anyone in the are be interested?

Right Decisions........

I feel so lost right now. I feel like my life isn't going anywhere and I am just in a rut. I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life, I don't know what state I want to live in, and I feel like I am just doing the same crap over and over again. One minute I want to move back home to California, but I feel like the only reason I want to move back is to get my "old life" back which isn't there anymore. I really do enjoy Texas and I am starting to meet new people, have friends, make a life out here now. I just spent a week in California and I miss it beyond belief, but I know I would miss Texas too. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life and where I wanted to live but now I am just confused and wishing there was someone telling me what to do.

There are so many careers I want to pursue but I just cant pick one and settle on that one. One day I want to be a teacher, then the next day I want to be a photography, and then the next I want to be a writer. Ugh why cant I just find ONE thing I am truly passionate about and stick with it. I like all the above I just said and in a different way with each I have a passion for it. I am going back to school, so I think I will just get my associates out of the way and then figure out from there. Because if I keep putting off school then I am just furthering myself away from my career whatever it may be. Maybe I can be all 3 of those things one day.

I've decided to stay put in Texas until I figure things out, but I feel like I am the only 23 year old I know who doesn't know where there life is going. Everyone else is either married, in nursing school, graduating college or chefs. I feel like I am not going in circles with my life and I am going nowhere. People who are older then me said they felt the same way when they were 23 but now they have careers and couldn't be happier but I don't feel like it is going to pan out like that for me for some reason. Well I guess only time will tell what God has in store for me.

It's way past my bedtime, goodnight<3

NMS<3